I am not a decisive person. Not only does this cause me a great deal of frustration, but also my husband and other family members.
I am currently taking a break from the workforce; however, a job announcement recently caught my eye and that’s when the obsessive questioning and repetitive discussions begin. Should I apply? It would be nice to bring in my own paycheck again. On the other hand, I’m enjoying living life on my own schedule. It is for an administrative assistant position – do I really want to do that again? But, it’s in a nice, quiet library! At least it’s a job, what are you really accomplishing by being at home?
And so it goes, the constant questioning and doubting until I finally end up doing nothing and now, the job has been filled. Why are some people able to make decisions in their lives without this constant questioning? Why are some people so confident in their decisiveness? Are they really confident or just good at hiding their doubts? The funny thing is, I didn’t have this problem when making decisions at work. I was very confident in my abilities to make quick and effective decisions for my particular position. It’s only when I have to make personal decisions, no matter how big or small, that I struggle. I am so worried about making the wrong decision that I often make no decision at all.
I have since convinced myself that if this administrative assistant position becomes available again, that must be a sign I should apply. That’s how it usually goes; it’s only after the opportunity has been missed that I seem to find any clarity. I’m not sure; however, if this is a true clarity or a false sense of clarity borne out of the fact that the opportunity is no longer available and, in fact, will unlikely become available anytime soon. In a sense, this releases me from any true decision-making.
I have tried prayer. Even then, I’m never certain whether or not I’m hearing God’s direction clearly. Perhaps that’s a faith problem. Most of the time, I simply end up feeling like a dog chasing its tail!
Do you ever experience this vicious cycle of indecision/inaction? I’d love to hear your strategies for a more successful decision-making process.